Friday, 6 July 2007

Huge Rant about how S**** Everyhting is

I don't know if its just me, but i think i have just had the most shit few months imaginable.

Early May i was diagnosed with Glandular Fever which meant i spent a good few weeks being incredibly poorly. At one point i couldn't even drink water because my throat was so unimaginably swollen and sore :(

this unfortunately caused me to miss a four hour philosophy exam :S

and I'm just starting to recover from that, still really tired and lethargic and i'm straight into my exams proper. A level exams. oh joy. still, i managed to get through them and i'm still here, and fingers crossed i've done enough to get into my first choice university.

And then, i have barely finished my exams and am looking forward to a summer of partying hard and long lazy days spent with my boyfriend when he drops the bombshell that he doesn't want to be with me. Completely out of the blue. and barely three days after we had spent an afternoon singing love songs to each other and slow dancing around my bedroom.

And strangely i'm not the gibbering wreck i should be after just seeing the end of your relationship written in your other half's eyes. not the teary eyed soul i should be after parting ways with someone i had begun to consider as being 'the one'. the only side effect appears to be my inability to write anything other than angst!

i'm more disappointed than anything. disappointed that even after all that time i didn't know him well enough to know he had doubts. disappointed in him for not knowing how good what we had was. part of me hurts because i know i'll never kiss him again; never enjoy his scent as we just cuddle. but the rest of me thinks that he should be the one hurting because he was the fool who gave me up. and given the way his hands were shaking, and the way he was nearly in tears i think he might be the one hurting. but i wouldn't take him back.

no second chances, i'm that sort of a woman.

Top Ten songs that are good to listen to when you're in love, but should make you cry when you've just been dumped:

1) Savage Garden: Truly Madly Deeply
2) Snow Patrol: Chasing Cars
3) LeAnn Rimes: How Do I Live
4) Aerosmith: I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
5) Smokey Robinson and the Miracles: I Second That emotion
6) Bryan Adams: (Everything I Do) I Do It for You
7) Lifehouse: Blind
8) The Corrs: Runaway
9) Meatloaf: You Took the Words Right Out Of My Mouth
10) Robbie Williams: Angels

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