Thursday, 26 June 2008


Two weeks I have been home from University. Two weeks, and already I feel like screaming. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to survive the next ten weeks. Those people who were looking forward to coming home, I am afraid I will never understand you. I'd still be there if I could, and would never come back; at least not for any longer than a visit.

I miss Sam like crazy, I miss my friends like crazy and my grandmother is driving me up the wall. I need a job as much to get me out of the house as for the money, but try as I might I don't seem to be able to get even the most menial of jobs. Which is one of the reasons I wanted to get out of this backwards little town in the first place.

I hate this being stuck back at home, and I resent the loss of my freedom again. I long to be back in my own space, doing things by myself and for myself, according to my rules.

I want to be myself again.

I want a job so that I can afford to get out of here; get back to Nottingham, see my Sam, see other people. I found the perfect job for me; good pay, odd hours that meant I could do what I wanted, but they don't seem to be interested. I'm trying other places but I'm not holding my breath that I'll be any more successful. I'm starting to lose hope and becoming demoralised, wondering if there's even a point to trying to find a job anymore.

The only bright light at the moment is that I am going back to Nottingham tomorrow, but it's only for the weekend. By Monday, I'll be back here, practically climbing the walls again. How am I going to survive until September?

I'll let you know as soon as I do.

No comments :

Post a Comment